Alphabet Blog

I've taken this from writer buddy Stephanie, who took it from another friend, etc but I changed a few alphabet words to mix it up a bit.

A. Age: I’m a bicentennial baby. You do the math.

B. Birth Order: 3^rd out of 4. Third is the nerd.

C. Chore that you hate: Cleaning tubs/showers. And bathing kids is my least favorite “mommy chore.” So glad they are getting older…

D. Dogs: They’re nice, but I don’t want to personally own one at this point in my life.

E. Essential start to your day: Alarm clock or kidlets.

F. Favorite color: Purple, with turquoise a close second.

G. Gold or Silver: Silver—or white gold.

H. Height: 5’12” baby!

I. Inspirations: Crisp, autumn-like weather with a nice breeze and music.

J. Job title: Which one? Wife, Mother, Writer,  Daughter, Sister, Aunt…

K. Kids: Three kidlets.

L. Live: Mobile, Alabama… or is that live—I love live music! Concerts are the best!

M. Marriage Status: Married, with children.

N. Nicknames: Care Bear is the most common, from multiple sources.

O. Overnight hospital stays: Five times, three from childbirth.

P. Pet peeves: Dishonesty: lie, cheat, or hold back the truth and I will not trust you.

Q. Quote from a movie: “As you wish.” I swoon for Westley.

R. Right or left handed: Right, though I always wished I was a lefty.

S. Secrets: I’ll never tell.

T. Time you wake up: Whenever I’m needed.

U. UFOs: Possibly, but not necessarily with little green men…

V. Vegetable you hate: Canned red beets. GAG.

W. What makes you run late: Kidlets—1, 2, 3, or all.

X. X-Rays you’ve had: Neck, back, and that lousy right ankle—I’ve sprained it three times.

Y. Yummy food that you make: Cookies! Nothing fancy, just the basics: chocolate chip, snickerdoodles, peanut butter, etc.

Z. Zoos or Aquariums: I love a good aquarium. It feels like I’m in a time warp, in another world,  and then the sun is SOOO bright when I step back outside—WHAM! Welcome back to Earth.

What was I thinking?!

Yes, I used two, count them, TWO, punctuation marks because my situation is a question and an exclamatory. Read onto find out why.

If you're a reader of this blog, know me personally, or even just hear about me from someone else, you probably know I'm a writer. People have paid me for my words, though not as often as I'd like, and my words have been read by possibly hundreds of thousands of people. (One of my articles appeared in a magazine with a circulation of over 500,000.)

And if you've been in contact with me in recent years, you've probably heard I'm working on a novel. My WIP. Corroded. My first long-term project in over a decade. It's been slow, more often than not unsteady, progress.

Sure, I've got a list of prime excuses for being too busy to write, but the fact is, I could write a lot more than I do. I'm a procrastinator when it comes to things that make me nervous. Nervous energy and me are first cousins. I pace, which can be good because when I sit down, there are kids crawling on me within seconds. Typing with a kid hanging on your shoulders is difficult. Hand writing impossible. It makes me want Nathaniel Hawthorne's desk in the third story writing tower he had built over his home in Concord. Besides being a floor above the noise of his household, he had a custom standing height desk. (Which is the perfect height for me—had a lovely daydream while standing at his desk and looking out on the forested hillside when I visited Wayside.) He stood while writing, so I'm thinking he was a pacer, too.

This past week I've been procrastinating my writing because I received an answer to my prayers—a literary dream come true. And that dream turned reality has caused anxiety.

A month ago there was a terrible tornado in Joplin, Mo. As with the response from the deadly tornadoes in northern Alabama not long before, several authors stepped up to personally donate money as well as hold fundraisers for relief efforts. One of my literary heroes, Laurie Halse Anderson, decided to give of herself to help the Joplin area.

Laurie Halse Anderson! If her name sounds familiar it's because she's one of the biggest young adult authors of the last decade (though she writers for younger readers, too.) Heard a bunch of smack talked about YA books in the press lately or about books being banned in school libraries? Read any blogs/articles where YA readers/authors of all ages defend teen books? More than half of those articles mention Laurie Halse Anderson's books or quote her directly, both the pro and con. Tweet much? Try #YASAVES.

Several of my blogs over the past few years mention LHA. I've done her Write Fifteen Minute a Day (WFMAD) online writing boosts, taken her Blog Free February (BFF) to the highest level of commitment—no social media all month, and have traveled to New Orleans to meet her while she's been on book tours—even made HER blog for that!

Back to the relief efforts... Laurie decided to auction/raffle a full manuscript critique in order to help raise money for the Joplin/Ozark area Red Cross. The requirements were for every $10 you donate, you get one entry into the raffle. I begged around to family and friends and a few people donated in my behalf to up the odds. And I prayed, as did others. And I won!

I need to get Corroded as polished as possible within the next few months in able to not waste LHA's time and get the most help out of the critique. But that dream come true is looming like a thunderstorm over an outdoor graduation ceremony!

When I'm not pacing—or caring for kids or doing church work or planning writers guild events or any other number of worthy causes—I'm hiding within the pages of other people's books.

Literally.

I was loaned this interesting adventure by one friend (who I let know not to loan me another book in a series until the WHOLE series is out. Must wait for the rest of the story...):

And then I FINALLY started reading The Hunger Games trilogy. I'm now on this borrowed copy from another friend:

I'm up into the wee hours of the morning reading. Too tired to wake up before the kids to exercise first thing. Without the physical conditioning my creativity and motivation is slumping. My brain is fried from the summer heat by the end of the day so all I want to do is lay in bed at night and read. Which leads to late nights with my book light and groggy mornings. Rinse and repeat.

Now, I'm breaking my silence and the cycle.

I will do some form of exercise daily, beginning today.

I will NOT open Catching Fire, or any other novel, until I have written at least 30 minutes.

I will set my alarm each morning and get out of bed in a timely fashion no matter how late I am up.

And I want you to hold me accountable. Send an e-mail, tweet, comment, or actually in person ask if I'm any closer to sending Corroded to Laurie Halse Anderson. Because that action now freaks me out.

Do I really want to know what a NYT best selling author thinks about my work?

Do I really want one of my literary heroes to tell me what is wrong with it? (And what's good, but the negative always shouts louder in my head.)

Won't rejection feel worse from someone I admire than a faceless agent or editor?

What was I thinking?!

That it would be an excellent opportunity to be read by someone whose work I admire.

That learning the strengths—and weaknesses—in the story will help me hone my writing/editing skills.

That a possible blurb from a NYT best selling author will be a great foot in the door to the publishing industry.
And the bragging rights aren't bad either.

There's a motivational poster slogan that reads:
You cannot fulfill your dreams unless you dare to risk it all.

So, please, dare me to write. Dare me to finish Corroded and send it to Laurie Halse Anderson for critique. And then dare me to accept the advice and write on.

On a Serious Note

A week and a half ago, this was the view from our hotel room (compliments of my big sister, booked weeks before the Deep Water Horizon explosion) on Pensacola Beach. Beautiful, except for a slight tea colored staining along the water line. My children and nephews played in the sand, well above possible contamination. And blessed be the hotel's pools!

But the oil has been gushing for over two months. Response is slow. Lack of nationwide support is disheartening. It might be a political statement from those with the power and money. It might be a way to show the evils of offshore drilling, by slowing the response to create prolonged damage. It might be a control game between public and private and government sectors. Heck, the oil rig might have been blown up by an enemy sub! I don't know. But I do know our waters, our land, the creatures, and even the people who call this section of earth home are suffering.

Pensacola Beach had clumpy, brown oil washing on shore for several hours. Miles of scenic beaches are now splattered with sticky grime, much more difficult to clean than the previous tar balls. No skimmers were spotted from the shore and the state government admonished the federal government to send more skimmers to protect the coast of Florida. There are only a few skimmers covering the whole state—if you call that “covering”.

Four dolphins washed ashore off Pensacola Beach yesterday. Three were successfully placed back in the water but the forth, oil clinging to its side and face, didn't survive. It made crying sounds and the rest of the pod—believed to be the dolphins who swim by Fort Pickens every morning—were jumping out of the water, trying to communicate with their lost member. A family vacationing from Arkansas, as well as other bystanders, were the unsung heroes. They shed their own tears as they worked to scrap off what oil they could with their bare hands. It's difficult enough to explain to a four year old that the gulf water is dirty and we can't play in it or build castles with the moist, easily shaped sand... but to witness the death of an innocent creature is an unforgettable teaching experience I hope to never encounter.

Bayley's Seafood, opened in 1947, is a landmark near Mobile Bay. I'm not even local but I know it's practically historic in nature among the true seafood eateries of L.A. (That's Lower Alabama, not Los Angeles or Louisiana. I've learnt me somethin' down here!) My family passes Bayley's every time we drive to Dauphin Island. Their recipes are award winning but the owners are speaking out that they might have to close. Every week there is less fresh seafood to be bought. Less items to sell to customers.

A local charter boat captain—a husband and father—committed suicide on his boat and it is speculated at this time that his worries over the oil spill (dare we assume the fact that he wasn't able to run his business as normal had anything to do with it?) were the catalyst.

These examples were taken from the first ten minutes of News 5 Wednesday night. Multiply these stories—and all those in the weeks before—by the unnumbered days that the oil will still be gushing. And then, again, by the time it takes the free floating oil to be collected, or washed up on the sugar white sand beaches of the gulf coast. Only then can we accumulate an idea of how catastrophic this is for our earth. For our wildlife. For our economy. For our health. For our children's children.

And that's not even touching on the dispersants and other chemicals being used...


On a sweeter note (let's hope this link works, you might need to copy and paste), here's a video of Norah Jones preforming "Dauphin Island" earlier this month:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NErh3OuMEzE&feature=related

A List of all Things NEVER

Whenever I say never I usually break my own rule or find an exception to the rule but the following are pretty much set as absolutes for me now.

1.NEVER trust people who name “Lucy” as their favorite Peanuts character.
2.NEVER judge a parent because his/her child is screaming/etc in a public place. If you feel the need to judge, check how the parent is REACTING to the child.
3.NEVER leave pens unattended—even for a few seconds—while a toddler is in the room.
4.NEVER rely on your memory once you hit twenty-five—write everything down.
5.NEVER allow your checking account to get below $10.
6.NEVER leave a bag of bird seed outside over-night.
7.NEVER walk for a prolonged period on cement in the summer while barefoot.
8.NEVER assume your husband will feed the children while he's babysitting.
9.NEVER forget that the habits you despise in other people are usually those you have, too.
10. NEVER go against a Sicilian when death is on the line.



Okay, so I borrowed the last one. I just love that movie... if you don't know what it is you're missing something!

Tell me your experiences regarding these topics and add your own, too. Be sure to let me know if you want me to expand on any of these on future blogs.

There and Back Again

Was I missed last week? Did anyone notice?

There was no wandering with me. Wonderwegian was wandering alone. But I'm going to share my journey now.


There and Back Again:
An Autism Tale


My oldest son was born in July 1998. He reacted to the Hepatitis B vaccine given in the hospital and he had to be re-hospitalized within 24 hours of bringing him home. He had a low sucking reflex and was always a fussy-up-half-the-night-every-few-hours baby. But he loved to be held. Ear infections were frequent so he was on anti-biotics every few months the first year of life. At about eight months old he contracted the Roseola virus (HHV-6).

He hit all the physical milestones the first year but never slept through the night. He was never a big talker, only said "mama" and "bye-bye" and such sporadically. He'd reach for things, but not point, screaming until I figured out what he wanted.

After he was a year old he self-limited his diet to include mostly crunchy and/or beige-yellow colored foods. By the time he was two years old I was worried. He had dark circles around his eyes and wouldn't interact with his cousins or kids at church. We were living in an older rental house so I had him tested for lead poisoning and vitamin deficiency since he was such a picky eater: negative for both. The doctor was not worried because he showed love and affection and made eye contact with me. She did prescribe an allergy medication.

During his 3-year check-up the pediatrician saw enough “red flags” to send us to a neurologist and psychologist. After going through various testing in August-September of 2001 he was labeled PDD-NOS. (9/11 for me was an autism attack.) After escaping from reality for a week by immersing myself in the first four books in the Harry Potter series I buckled down and started doing autism research on-line and read a LOT of books.

I changed his diet to the GF/CF diet in October of 2001. He only asked for milk the first day. I told him "Milk is bad for your tummy. It gives you a bad tummy and a bad head." End of story. The nighttime screaming that had been a part of our lives since the firs year of life stopped. He still woke up every few hours but he wasn't screaming with what I now know to be gut pain. He stopped dragging his head across the floor or rubbing it on the wall- something he'd done for a year or more.

He started preschool services through our local school system in November 2001. His only language was a few basic words like "cookie", "home", "mommy", and memorized songs. He could not sit in a chair for more than a minute.

I found the NIDS (NeuroImmune Dysfunction Syndrome) yahoo list and website for Dr. Michael Goldberg in December 2001. I followed the stories of other families just starting out and listened to the inspiring stories from “old timers”. Our extended family members have immune related diseases/disorders such as fibromyalgia, arthritis, diabetes, Alzheimer's, etc, so NIDS seemed logical.

I continued to seek more information and searched and prayed about what else to do for my son. I even went so far as to visit a local chiropractor who did chelation, but when he said he'd never do it on a child because it was too dangerous I moved on to other ideas.

We also went to an allergist who did skin prick testing on him and said since my son didn't react to milk or mold or pollen he did not need to be on allergy medicine or restricted in his diet at all. I kept his diet GFCF but we dropped the allergy medicine.

After a rough/emotional summer vacation I decided to commit to the NIDS theory and I called to make an appointment in July 2002 (my son just turned four). I also decided to switch from GFCF to the less-restrictive NIDS (low allergy) diet. There was no regression in his behavior/speech/etc.

Our appointment with Dr. Goldberg was in October 2002. We started with an anti-fungal medication. After the die-off (worsening of symptoms) the school workers noticed improvements in focus and trying to communicate more. They were small improvements, but noticeable.

Since that initial medication, we've added (and rotated) anti-virals (those HHV-6 numbers from his infant year were sky-high), allergy medication, and SSRIs. Plus we did a round of IMGG for about a year in 2003-2004.

The gains were slow and steady, almost too small to notice at times. And we've had rough times/regression when certain medicines didn't work for him. But within the first few years with Dr. G my son was sitting for school work for up to 20 minutes at a time, speaking in two words phrases, learning to do math, and reading.

My son has been in a regular classroom with a paraprofessional since second grade. He does still receive tutoring with a special education teacher for about an hour a day, adaptive P.E., thirty minutes a week with an OT, and also services with a speech pathologist.

I became pregnant in 2005 and followed Dr. Goldberg's pregnancy guidelines. When Baby boy #2 was born in November 2005 I opted out of the Hepatitis B vaccine- the hospital didn't push it when I said my older son reacted to it. We've followed the alternate vaccine schedule since. He has only been on medication FOUR times in his life. He's a happy, healthy chatterbox. He's never had sleep/night issues and he pointed on schedule for his development. He has creative play and a vivid imagination. He is the BEST therapy for his big brother.

I gave birth to a healthy baby girl last September. She's met all milestones and just a few months ago had her first ear infection/need for medication. She's developing above average as well for all milestones.

My oldest is going into fifth grade this year but is still two (or more) years behind academically. His weakest subject is reading comprehension. This past school year he responded better to peer tutors than the teachers/aides and doesn't like to be shadowed- he's becoming more independent. He loves interaction but has the expressive language (and social skills) of a two-three year old. He still does a lot of scripting, which interferes with social skills. He's happy and is able to work at a desk for an hour at a time. MAJOR improvement in attention span over the years!

I haven't seen any large gains over the past few years though he's much healthier than he was. This October will mark seven years with Dr. G. Maybe it's a seven year itch but I want to see if my guy will regress without the medicine or hold his own. His HHV-6 levels are now finally close to normal and his other immune panels have been holding steady for over a year.

The autism world is very polarized like, religion and politics, when it comes to philosophies on the right way to treat it and what causes it. I had to pray over which route to follow when researching autism/PDD/etc so part of me feels like it'd be like turning away from my testimony. I'm not second guessing our journey because I know Dr. G has helped my son and my two healthy younger children are proof to me that Dr. Goldberg's theory is as close to the truth as possible. We've been blessed.

But for now I've decided to focus on behavioral and educational boosts. Which will take additional money/time/energy. I can't do medical and behavioral right now- I'd be stretched too thin: mentally, financially, and physically! I'm in the process of weaning my son off medication, searching for a piano teacher, researching ABA for older kids, plus a dozen other things.

And that is why I didn't blog last week... I was sorting this all out in my head. I'm ready to travel forward, once again.